HOW UNDER THE SURFACE CAME TO BE (AND WHY IT TOOK 1.5 YEARS)

If you have been following me for a while, you may remember that I was talking about making a podcast a couple of years ago. I even worked with a designer to brand it into something beautiful and I loved it.

Then, shortly after, I basically tore everything down and did a complete rebrand. I never started the podcast because I wanted it to be a different name and match my new brand.

That’s when Under the Surface was first born. I put the cover art on my website saying, “coming soon,” for an entire year before recording this first episode.

What’s funny about starting a podcast is that it’s not really a big deal at all. I think we make it a big deal, but honestly, it’s truly not. I made it a big deal, which is why I kept putting it off. I had all of these stories about how I was going to do a podcast, what I would talk about, what I would focus on, and how I could go at it strategically to get the downloads, and reviews, and rated, and whatever.

I kept putting it off because that’s a lot of pressure. All that pressure I was putting on myself really didn’t feel good. But then I thought to myself: I’m not going to put any pressure on this and let it come when it wants to and how it wants to. And I did that.

So, here it is–well, here’s the accompanying blog post!

You can listen to the full episode here.

Another story I told myself was that launching a podcast would be a shit ton of work. I was like: “I have to do all these things to launch it. I’ve got to do the intro and the outro and record a commercial. Then do cover art and all this stuff.”

But, as it turns out, you can do all of that in like two hours total. You could literally decide to start a podcast, record an episode, intro, outro, commercial, pick the music, pick the name, create the graphic, and launch it in less than a day. It’s not hard. I don’t know why we make it such a fucking big deal, but I did.

If you just stumbled onto this and you don’t know who I am: I’m Krystal Woods. I’m a Manifestor in Human Design with an undefined sacral and undefined root. I don’t do well under pressure. When I was younger, I believed that I worked best under the pressure, because that’s when I would get shit done. I was a procrastinator and I would do everything last minute. If I didn’t have the pressure, I wouldn’t do it.

But now, I am my own boss. When I put that pressure on myself, I literally don’t have to do it. I don’t have to start a podcast. I don’t actually have to do anything. I only have to live with the fact that if I don’t do it, I may be depriving myself of something that I actually want.

We create these stories in our brains about something that we actually really want to do. Choosing to sit down and record the first episode felt a million times better than opening up my phone and scrolling on Instagram or talking to my stories because I feel pressure there too. My biggest concern is: How could I possibly say everything I want to say and make it impactful when it can only be 45 seconds? I’ve struggled to keep my Instagram captions under the character limit and it’s hard for me to drop the goods and walk away. I want to give you a whole experience. So, I knew I needed to create this podcast.

And here we are.

Honestly, I could have called this The Krystal Show, but I felt that Under the Surface was way cooler. It basically is The Krystal Show, but it’s also the things that feel really relevant and helpful to talk about through my lens, which typically goes way Under the Surface. Hence the name of the podcast.

You’ll be getting a unique experience by being here. I have channel 23-43 in Human Design. I’m a Manifestor, an Aquarius Moon and Mars, and I thrive on putting an eccentric perspective on things. It’s a place to hang and chat. Long form content is my jam, because I can just keep talking and babbling.

There’s your rundown of what to expect from Under The Surface. Now, let’s move onto what this is really about.

ROOT CAUSE OF WHY WE STRUGGLE SO MUCH

I want to talk about something that I have observed to be at the root of almost everything in our lives. Almost every problem we think we have could be eradicated, or very quickly solved, with this one thing. I know a lot of entrepreneurs, founders, and leaders who forget this one thing when they’re struggling. They lose their connection to it.

The one thing at the foundation of everything is self-trust.

I work with a lot of coaches and entrepreneurs who are building online businesses and they come to me when they find out about Human Design. Being an entrepreneur myself, with a 1/3 profile, I specialize in connecting the dots between your Human Design, your energy, your business, and your strategy. To put it another way: How do we use the information we gather from your Human Design to maximize the impact of your business and the quality of your life as you run and build your business?

It’s interesting because a lot of the people I work with are also very unique, out-of-the-box, creative people. It’s such a beautiful thing to witness this flow… this connection to life… these artists.

They go into business for themselves because they want to share these beautiful gifts with the world and make a living that way. That’s obviously why they’re here on earth, otherwise they wouldn’t have been given this beautiful talent. But then it’s a whole new world when they start a business. They may suddenly give their authority away to a coach or expert, then later come to me and say they tried all this shit that didn’t work. It turns into… “I just want to find something that will work and that potentially doesn’t feel like shit. Can you help me?”

Like, yes, I can do that. But, the way I do that isn’t the way you think it is. It’s not me saying, “Oh, you have these channels, and these channels, so you should market this way.” Or maybe they’re looking for: “This strategy is going to work for you based on this specific thing in your Human Design.”

That may be the way other people do it, but it’s not my approach at all.

My approach is to let you know that Human Design is not your answer. Human Design is a tool for you to find your own answer. And I think that when you have unshakable self-trust, no matter what, you won’t find yourself going down as many of these paths that deter you from who you really want to be and what you want to be doing.

If you can develop that self-trust, you waste a lot less time. Hiring the wrong mentors, joining the wrong programs, trying their strategies… when you know deep down it isn’t for you. Not to say that when you trust yourself you will always find the strategy that works for you. But, when you trust yourself, you get to narrow down your options and feel into what’s right for you.

You can build your business however you want. There are no rules. A lot of us go into business for ourselves because of that and it is also really overwhelming to the point where it is potentially paralyzing. You may feel like you have no fucking clue what to do because you can do anything! Then you turn to your coaches and say, “Tell me what will work and save me the time.”

The problem with that is you may give up your self-trust when you hear someone saying that this should work for you, and if it doesn’t, there’s something wrong with you. The reality is that it worked for that person, but you are a unique person.

When you try something and it doesn’t work, that may just mean that it isn’t for you and it’s time to try something else. When you do it the other way, when you make it about you, that’s how you break your self-trust because you’re creating a story around what is wrong with you.

You’re probably making mistakes and failing, then internalizing that, which perpetuates this paralysis. Then you take less and less action because you’re afraid of the “inevitable,” which is that you are going to fail at some things and you are going to screw up. It’s going to be chaotic and messy. But, it doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile. It doesn’t mean you should quit. It doesn’t mean that you’re not good at it.

You just haven’t found your stride yet.

SELF-TRUST IN RELATIONSHIPS

Self-trust is also very important in relationships. Every single person I talk to (literally everyone) has been gaslit so many times that they now do it to themselves. When you lack self-trust, it’s so much easier to be a victim to that.

Eventually, after being gaslit so many times, you learn that response. When you are feeling a lot, you learn that it’s wrong to feel so much. You become disconnected from your intuition. Or maybe you are connected to your intuition, but you feel that it’s not right, you still can’t trust it, or you can’t follow it.

It’s sad. I’ve been there. Allowing myself to get smaller and smaller because I wasn’t believing in myself. I know so many people who are there. Honestly, we have all been there.

Even on a collective level, it’s evident. We are so polarized. We miss the greys of life because we’re so focused on what the collective deems as “right.” When what you feel goes against the narrative of the collective, you feel like you’re wrong. Whether that’s in your household, country of residence, community, or a group. You will gaslight yourself because you begin to think that what you believe is wrong.

There’s different ways that we are fed this message that we don’t know what’s best for us. There’s someone outside of us, someone that’s more powerful than us, or smarter or richer than us, that knows what’s best. Then, you internalize that. Time and time again, that connection just gets quieter and quieter.

Personally, I feel like a lot of physical health issues start because of this stress. It’s stressful when your body is talking to you and you can’t or don’t listen.

By the way, this isn’t to call anybody out or make anyone feel bad. I feel like this is a wake up moment to get back in touch with your self-trust. It’s an opportunity to be like, “Okay, great. There is a solution for that. I can regain my trust with myself. There is a way for me to strengthen my relationship to myself and it may not be easy, but I can do something about that.”

When you begin to make those changes, your entire life changes.

The way you hold yourself…

The way you speak…

The way you set boundaries…

The way that you make decisions (at work or in your business)...

The way you show up is completely different because there is an unshakable, unfuckwithable confidence that exudes from people who trust themselves completely.

If I’m super honest, I’m not quite there yet. But, I am farther along than I was a few years ago… which is a whole other story for another time.

I wanted to start by talking about self-trust on Under the Surface because it’s the foundation for everything. If you don’t have self-trust, you’re outsourcing your authority to everyone around you when you really, truly, need to trust yourself.

Sometimes your social life, family ties, or friendships change and that won’t be super fun. You might be, or will be, making choices that go against the group, which can highlight old wounds for others. But, when you deeply trust yourself, it’s almost like there’s no other option. You just refuse to betray you.

Above all else, trust yourself. I want you to be your number one.

I am so excited to dive Under the Surface with you and that you’re here reading. I feel so honored that you are choosing to be here. It’s very, very humbling. I want you to know how much I truly appreciate the time and attention you give to me. My hope is that by reading this blog, you begin to cultivate your own self-trust and self-confidence… and that you have fun in the process.

If you have any topics you would love me to talk about, guests you want to hear interviewed, or any questions you want me to answer, leave your suggestions in the comments here!

Buckle up, friends. It’s going to be a good time on Under the Surface and we’re going to have a lot of fun. So thank you for reading, and I will catch you later!